Just someone you use
by Morwenlalaith
Summary: Estella thinks about another failed relasionship, her uselessness, and a certain young Brandybuck. Songfic. Quite sad. Even I felt slightly depressed after reading this.


_**Just someone you use……**_

Estella's beauty is a curse. That's what Cath jokes about it, that one day Estella will wake up and find the lanes of the Shire littered with bodies of lads that can't cope without being with her a moment longer. Estella does wish that Cath wouldn't say things like that. It still creeps her out, remembering Merry (jokingly) say that if she didn't dance him he'd walk straight into a goblin den and not bother coming out. Okay, so it was a joke, but not a very funny one. Estella can't try and forget Merry's desolate face, the day she told him about Olco. And then there was the time he went missing for seven days straight……

**Just a shoulder to cry on  
That's all I've been to you**

Estella was good to Olco. She was the only one who would stay with him when Lettie caught fever and almost died. It was _her_ that stayed with him, _her_ who waited half the night, and got caught too! So how come he paid her back by going off to the Green Dragon and spending half of the night with some lass from Bywater?

**Just someone to rely on  
When your world is empty and blue**

Olco was very good at acting distraught. He would go down on one knee, say he'd never do it again, cross my heart and promise. He'd take her out for a drink, treat her right, and everything would seem fine. Of course, this was only when he was lonely, bored, or in want for a bit of female company. If he wasn't. if everything was going fine, he'd just leave her, wait for a couple of weeks, then charm her back into his life. It worked every time.

**I'm just someone you call dear  
Anytime you choose**

Estella couldn't help it. Olco could be so charming at times. Not very often, because he could be really _violent_ a _lot_ of the time, but when he wanted something from her he could turn on the full charm. Almost as good as Merry could. But in a different way. Olco could turn the charm on and off, like the water pump. One full move and that was it, gone. It was like playing with a grass adder, poison oozing from it at every turn. Merry wouldn't do _that_ to a lass, would he?

**I'm someone you run to  
Someone you use**

Everyone thought she was a fool. They all did, they didn't have to say it. Rosie would tut, and tell her about all the lasses that Olco would go with when Estella wasn't watching. Pippin would call him names, saying that if he wasn't just a teen he'd show Olco what he really thought of him. Cath thought up plans of how they could get _both_ the Sandyman boys, killing two birds with one stone, as it were. Merry didn't actually say anything, he just….stood there.

**I'm just someone to talk to  
And that's all I'll ever be**

That was a point. They didn't actually _talk_. When Olco was there (which was unlikely), they didn't do much. Well, actually, that was untrue, they did lots of things, but she never could open up or talk to him. Not like her other friends…..

**  
Just a clown you can laugh with  
Someone to treat as you need**

Estella was basically an entertainment for him. She laughed, chatted, giggled and  
flirted as daringly as she pleased, as Olco sniggered and showed her off. She was just a trophy, something he could parade, like a wolf pelt or a special sword.

**I'm just a fool you can love on  
Any time you choose**

And if she was doing something else and Olco wanted her to come, then bam! that was it. He didn't consider her at all. She wasn't a _person_ to him, just an object, a beautiful plaything.

**I'm just someone you run to  
Someone you use**

Estella wished things could just go back to the way they were before. Back when she didn't have to worry about treading on ice half the time, when she could laugh with her friends the way she did before, when she could be herself, and no-one else.

**I'm just someone you run to  
I'm just someone you use**

It didn't even give her that much pleasure. Olco wasn't even all that great looking. He had all the manners of a tired goat, he didn't help her with anything, couldn't say something witty to save his life, and his loyalty skills were nonexistent.

**  
Don't you know when you need me  
My little heart just can't refuse**

But she didn't seem to mind. After all, she just couldn't leave. Even if she wanted to (and sometimes she didn't!) Olco seemed to have this kind of power over her. It scared her, but that didn't matter. She was only _the sweetheart, _after all. No-one of exact importance.

**I'm just someone who loves you, baby  
I can't win and I can't lose**

He wasn't really harming her. Yeah right! Ever time she saw him with another one of his many lasses, and believe me, there were a _lot, _her heart broke into about a million pieces. But if she could learn to ignore that, and she was learning how, she wouldn't mind. She wouldn't gain anything, sure, but she would hurt anymore. She'd just be there, unhurt, but unprotected.

**I'm just someone you run to**

Now, how long could she believe that?

**I'm just someone you use**

Not for much longer.

**I'm just someone you use.**

Estella sighed, and looked down at the letter. Down at the bottom, after Sam's printed writing, Frodo's graceful letters, Rosie's pictures, telling words, Pippin's neat, round words, and Cath's untidy but readable scrawl, is a little note, written in Merry's hand. Estella could recognise that hand anywhere in the world.

_Anytime you want to, come and see me._

* * *

**Author's note: This is a more serious fic. If I get enough reviews, I could even make this into a proper story! So please review and tell me about the fic.**

**Discalimer which should be at the top but isn't: Lord of the Rings is not mine. The song is by Vonda Sheppard, called (guess!) Someone you use (Well done! You guessed right!). All I own is my computer, which is so warped that I might as well not own it, my body (which was actually a science experiment gone horribly wrong), and my brain. Can you own something that doesn't exist?**

**To read about Cath (who features slightly in this), and Estella's involvement with Olco, read my story here: **


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